Letters of Love: A Lasting Gift for the People You Love
Imagine you're grieving the death of someone you love. Perhaps it's your spouse, your parent, or someone who helped shape your life. Then you find a letter they wrote just for you.
Maybe it's filled with memories. Maybe it contains an inside joke that makes you laugh through your tears. Maybe it simply reminds you how deeply you were loved.
Now imagine finding another letter on a milestone day. Your birthday. Your wedding day. The day you graduate. The day you become a parent yourself.
A few words, written years earlier, from someone who knew they might not always be there to say them.
That is the idea behind Letters of Love.
What are Letters of Love?
Letters of Love are personal messages you write for the people who matter most to you.
They can contain anything you want to say, including:
how much you love someone;
favourite memories you've shared;
family stories;
advice or encouragement;
funny memories and inside jokes;
things you admire about them;
words you hope they will carry with them throughout their life;
forgiveness or apologies;
hopes you have for their future; or
simply a reminder that they were, and always will be, loved.
There are no rules.
They don't need to be beautifully written. They don't need to be long. They don't need to sound profound.
The value is in the fact that they came from you.
Who could you write Letters of Love to?
You might write a letter to:
your children;
your partner or spouse;
your parents;
your siblings;
your grandchildren;
close friends; or
anyone else who holds an important place in your life.
You might write one letter to each person. Or you might create several letters for the same person to open at different times in their life.
For parents of young children, Letters of Love can be a particularly meaningful way to leave behind your voice and your thoughts for the years you may not be there to share with them.
You could write letters for birthdays, graduations, weddings, becoming a parent, or simply for those days when they might need a reminder that they are loved.
What should you write?
If staring at a blank page feels overwhelming, start small. You could begin with:
One of my favourite memories with you is...
One of the things I love most about you is...
Something I hope you always remember is...
If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be...
One thing that always makes me laugh when I think about you is...
If you're reading this on a difficult day, I want you to know...
You don't have to write everything at once. You can write one letter today and another next year.
You can add to them as your children grow, your relationships evolve, and life gives you new memories worth preserving.
You could also leave a video
Letters don't have to be written. You might prefer to record yourself reading your letter or simply speaking to the people you love.
A simple video recorded on your phone can capture something a written letter can't, your voice, your laugh, your mannerisms, and the little expressions your loved ones know so well.
It doesn't need to be professionally produced. Sit somewhere comfortable. Speak naturally. Be yourself.
The people who love you aren't looking for perfection. They're looking for you.
Think about where your Letters of Love will be kept
Letters of Love are only meaningful if the people you write them for can eventually find them.
For physical letters, you might keep them with your other important documents and let your executor know they are there. You could also store them in a clearly labelled box or folder and make sure someone you trust knows where to find them.
For videos or other digital recordings, think carefully about:
where they are stored;
whether the files will remain accessible over time;
who needs to know they exist; and
how your loved ones will be able to access them when the time comes.
You may wish to keep secure instructions about accessing important digital information with your broader estate planning records.
Letters of Love are not part of your Will
Letters of Love can be a beautiful part of the legacy you leave behind, but they don't replace a Will or other estate planning documents.
Your Will deals with important legal matters, including who will receive your estate and who you want to appoint as your executor. Other documents, such as your Enduring Power of Attorney and Advance Health Directive, can help protect you during your lifetime.
Letters of Love serve a completely different purpose. They are about the things that can't be captured in legal documents.
Your voice. Your memories. Your love. The lessons you've learned. The things you always meant to say.
A legacy can be more than what you leave behind financially
When we think about estate planning and legacy, it's easy to focus on money and assets. Those things matter. They can have a significant impact on the people we love. But your legacy is also made up of the memories, values, stories, and love you leave behind.
We live in a time where it is possible to preserve those things in ways that previous generations could only dream of. Your children, grandchildren, and perhaps even generations you will never meet may one day be able to hear your voice, see your face, and learn about the person you were.
That is something pretty special.
Start with one letter
You don't need to write your life story. You don't need to find the perfect words. Just think about someone you love.
Think about what you would want them to know. Then start writing. It might be a few sentences. It might be several pages.
Either is enough.
Because one day, those words may become something your loved one treasures for the rest of their life.