The Power of a Letter of Wishes
Your life is so much more than a bit of paperwork.
Your Will is an important legal document, but it can’t capture everything your children need to know about you, their routines, their personalities, or the way you want them to be cared for.
That’s where your Letter of Wishes comes in.
A Letter of Wishes gives you a place to record the thoughts, feelings, stories, and guidance that sit alongside your formal estate planning documents.
For parents of young children, it can be one of the most personal and meaningful parts of an estate plan.
Your children are more than an inheritance
If you die while your children are young, the people caring for them will have a huge responsibility.
They’ll know your children, but they won’t know them in exactly the same way you do.
You know what settles your child after a nightmare. You know which foods they refuse to eat. You know what makes them laugh, what they’re passionate about, what they worry about, and what helps them feel safe.
You also have your own hopes for their education, friendships, activities, family relationships, and future.
Your Letter of Wishes gives you a place to share that knowledge.
What can you include?
There are no prescribed rules about what you must include in a Letter of Wishes.
You can make it as detailed or as simple as you like, and the content can reflect what matters most to you and your family.
For example, you might include:
Parenting guidance, including how your children are comforted, what helps them settle, and how you respond to their individual needs
Education, including your preferences around schooling, tutoring, extracurricular activities, and further education
Health and wellbeing, including medical needs, allergies, medications, and important health information
Daily routines, including sleep, food, activities, screen time, and other familiar routines
Interests and activities, including sports, hobbies, music, cultural activities, or other things your children love
Family relationships, including important people in your children's lives and relationships you would like to be encouraged
Values and beliefs, including the principles and values you hope will guide your children as they grow
Financial guidance, including your thoughts about how an inheritance should be managed for your children
Funeral wishes, including the type of farewell you would like and the people, music, readings, or traditions that matter to you
Letters of love, including stories, memories, messages, and words you want your children to have as they grow up
You can also explain the why behind your wishes.
That can be incredibly helpful for the people making decisions for your children after your death.
Your children are individuals
One of the biggest benefits of a Letter of Wishes is that you can recognise each child as an individual.
Maybe one child needs lots of reassurance when things change. Another might need space to process things on their own.
Maybe one loves team sports, while another would rather spend their afternoon drawing.
You can record the things that make each child who they are, and the things you know help them feel secure and supported.
These are the details that can make a real difference to someone stepping into the role of caring for your children.
It can grow with your family
Your Letter of Wishes isn't a static document.
As your children grow, your family changes, and your priorities evolve, you can review and update it.
The guidance you write when your children are three and five may look very different from the guidance you would give when they are thirteen and fifteen.
That flexibility makes a Letter of Wishes particularly useful for parents of young children.
It gives your children's carers a window into your world
If you die, the people caring for your children will be making countless decisions on their behalf.
Your Letter of Wishes can give them insight into how you would have approached those decisions.
It can answer questions such as:
What would Mum have wanted here?
What would Dad have thought was important?
How would they have handled this?
What would make the kids feel safe right now?
Your Letter of Wishes can’t replace the judgment of the people caring for your children, and it isn't a legally binding document in the same way as your Will.
It provides guidance.
It gives the people you have entrusted with your children's care a better understanding of your wishes, values, and expectations.
It's about more than instructions
A Letter of Wishes isn't just a list of instructions. It's an opportunity to leave a little piece of yourself behind.
You can tell your children about the things you loved. You can share family stories. You can explain why certain traditions matter. You can write letters for birthdays or milestones you hope they will one day read.
You can give the people caring for your children the information they need to help your children feel connected to you.
Your Will makes the legal arrangements. Your Letter of Wishes helps tell the story behind them.
A Letter of Wishes is included in our Will Value Packages
Each of our Will Value Packages includes a Letter of Wishes in our Estate Workbook.
The workbook includes a dedicated section for parenting instructions, giving you a practical place to record the information your children's guardians and other decision-makers may need.
Because your children are more than an inheritance, and your estate plan should reflect that.
Ready to get your estate plan sorted? Head to ‘Request a Booking’ to get started.