Guide to Discussing Your Parents’ Estate Plan
The conversation you might wish you'd had sooner.
A practical guide to talking with your parents about their wishes, important documents, and what you may need to know if they can no longer make decisions for themselves.
Talking about ageing, incapacity, money, illness and death with your parents can feel awkward. You might not know how to bring it up, what questions to ask, or how much you really need to know.
The Guide to Discussing Your Parents’ Estate Plan gives you a practical place to start.
Guide to Discussing Your Parents' Estate Plan
[Not legal advice – General information only – Based on Queensland law]
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The information in this ebook is general information only and not legal advice.
Why We Created This Guide
There are some conversations families put off because they feel uncomfortable.
This is one of them.
You might know your parents have a Will, but do you know where it is? Do you know who their Enduring Power of Attorney is? Do you know what they would want if they couldn't make their own healthcare decisions? Do you know what would happen to their superannuation, their home, or their other important assets?
And perhaps more importantly, do you know what matters to them?
You don't need to sit your parents down and interrogate them about every aspect of their affairs.
The aim is to start a conversation.
This guide is designed to help you approach that conversation with care, ask useful questions, understand what your parents want, and identify anything they may need to put in place or review.
Inside the guide, you'll find
How to prepare for the conversation
Practical suggestions for choosing the right time and place, starting the conversation, listening openly, respecting your parents' autonomy, and breaking the discussion into manageable pieces.
Questions worth asking
A collection of prompts covering the things you may not have thought to ask, including:
family and personal wishes
healthcare and medical decisions
finances and estate planning
long-term care and housing
funeral and body wishes
You don't need to work through every question in one sitting. Use the questions as prompts for a conversation that suits your family.
What may need to be formalised
Understand the difference between talking about your parents' wishes and actually putting those wishes into place through documents such as a Will, Enduring Power of Attorney and Advance Health Directive.
The guide also explains why some arrangements sit outside a Will and may need separate consideration.
What to do after the conversation
Once you've had the conversation, you'll have a better idea of what your parents have in place, what information needs to be located, and whether anything needs to be updated or followed up.
This guide is for you if...
You've realised you don't really know what your parents have in place.
Your parents have never talked to you about their wishes.
You want to start the conversation but don't know where to begin.
Your parents are getting older and you want to be better prepared to support them.
You want to know where important documents and information are kept.
You'd like to understand what your parents would want if they couldn't make decisions for themselves.
You want to have the conversation before there's a crisis.
You don't need to have all the answers.
You just need to start somewhere.
A conversation is not a legal document
This guide is designed to help you talk, not to replace your parents' legal advice or estate planning documents.
Having a conversation, or even writing down what your parents tell you, does not create a legally binding estate plan.
Some wishes need to be formally documented. Others may be better recorded as guidance for the people who may help your parents in the future.
The guide helps you identify those conversations and questions so your parents can seek appropriate professional advice where needed.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to have this conversation with both of my parents?
Not necessarily. Every family is different, and your parents may prefer to have these conversations separately or together. The guide is designed to give you prompts you can adapt to your own family and circumstances.
Does my parent need a Will if they already have one?
The question is whether their existing estate plan still reflects their current circumstances and wishes. Relationships, assets, family circumstances and other arrangements can change over time. The guide includes a section on when it may be sensible to revisit an estate plan.
What if my parents don't want to talk about their estate plan?
You can't force the conversation. Your parents are entitled to make their own decisions about their affairs, provided they have capacity to do so. The guide includes suggestions for approaching the conversation respectfully and giving your parents space to decide what they want to share.
Will this guide tell me what my parents should do with their estate?
No. The guide is designed to help you understand your parents' wishes and identify areas they may need to consider with their professional advisors. It is not a substitute for personalised legal, financial, taxation, medical, or other professional advice.