Estrangement and Estate Planning

Navigating complex family dynamics in your Will

No two families look alike. Many people have someone in their family they’re no longer in contact with—often for very valid and deeply personal reasons. Abuse. Neglect. Manipulation. Repeated hurt. Sometimes, despite the weight of it all, there’s still guilt or confusion about what to do when it comes to your Will and estate plan.

We see it often: a client hesitates when we ask about children, siblings, or parents. There’s a pause. A sigh. A “This is a bit complicated…” We want you to know this—your plan should reflect your wishes, your truth, and your lived experience. And you can plan in a way that’s legally sound and respectful of your boundaries.

You have options

In Queensland, you have the freedom to gift your estate to whoever you choose. There is no requirement to leave anything to particular family members.

However, certain people—like spouses, children (including adult children and stepchildren), and dependants—are eligible to bring a family provision claim if they feel they’ve been left without adequate provision.

That means even if you intentionally exclude someone, they may still have a legal avenue to challenge your estate. The good news? With the right planning, you can reduce the risk of a successful challenge, and ensure your voice is clearly heard even after you’re gone.

So, what can you do?

1. Have a complete estate plan in place.

The most powerful step you can take is to make sure the right legal documents are in place. Without them, the default legal position kicks in—one that doesn’t consider your values, safety, or complex family history. That could mean someone you don’t trust ends up making decisions for you or inheriting your estate.

Here’s what a complete plan looks like:

• Will – Sets out who manages your estate and who inherits it.

• Enduring Power of Attorney – Appoints someone you trust to make financial and personal (including health) decisions if you lose capacity. Without this, your estranged family member could apply to step in as your decision-maker.

• Advance Health Directive – Lets you set health care preferences now while you have the capacity to make those decisions. This gives you a say in your future care.

• Superannuation death benefit nominations – Super doesn’t automatically follow your Will. A binding nomination can ensure it goes where you want—not where your super fund assumes it should.

• Testamentary Trusts (if appropriate) – A structure within your Will that can protect vulnerable beneficiaries or prevent assets from ending up in the wrong hands.

• Letter of Wishes – A non-binding document that explains the reasons behind your decisions. It can be incredibly helpful where estrangement is involved.

  2. Clearly document your reasons.

  In some cases, it may be appropriate to prepare a calm, factual statement explaining the context of the estrangement—when contact ceased, any significant incidents, and why you believe provision should not be made. However, it’s not the right approach in every matter. Including a statement like this can sometimes do more harm than good if it invites challenge or fuels conflict. That’s why we always provide tailored legal advice to help determine whether documenting your reasons supports your overall estate planning strategy—or whether there’s a better way to achieve your goals.

  3. Evidence matters.

  Keeping records—texts, emails, police or medical reports, therapy notes—can help show the history of the relationship. We can guide you on how to document and store this safely and appropriately.

  4. Consider alternative structures.

  Using strategies like Testamentary Discretionary Trusts can offer flexibility and protection. You can structure your estate so that vulnerable beneficiaries are supported without handing them full control.

  5. Appoint the right executor.

  Choosing the right executor is a crucial decision—especially where there’s estrangement or complex family dynamics involved. Sometimes a trusted family member is still the best fit. Other times, it’s safer to appoint a neutral third party like a friend, accountant, or professional. The right choice will depend on your circumstances, your family relationships, and the potential for conflict. This is something we’ll talk through together and reality test as part of your planning, to make sure the person you appoint is the best match for your wishes and situation.

  6. Talk it through—if safe to do so.

  Sometimes, estrangement is known and accepted. Other times, it’s a painful open wound. If you’re still in contact with other family members, it may be helpful to gently explain your choices, especially if your Will might come as a surprise. But only if it’s safe. There’s no rulebook. Just your safety and peace of mind.

Planning with Care and Sensitivity

We understand that writing a Will and estate plan when estrangement is involved can bring up old wounds. You don’t need to justify your pain. You don’t need to rush through hard decisions. And you absolutely don’t have to figure it out alone.

When we work with clients navigating complex family relationships, we do so with compassion, care, and zero judgment. Our goal is to create a plan that honours your boundaries while protecting your estate and the people you do want to provide for.

Because your story matters. And your estate plan should reflect it.

Book a consultation or reach out with any questions—we’re here with gentle, judgement-free support.