Caring for More Than One Generation: Estate Planning When You're Supporting Kids and Parents
How to sort your estate plan when you’re the “sandwich generation”
If you’re raising children and helping care for ageing parents (or in-laws), you’re not alone.
More and more families are part of the “sandwich generation” — squeezed between the needs of two generations, while trying to keep everything running in between. And while your to-do list is already packed, estate planning is one of the most important tools you have to protect your loved ones and yourself.
This blog covers how to plan wisely when you’re the glue holding a multi-generational family together.
Your estate plan isn’t just about death
It also covers what happens if you lose capacity and can’t make decisions for yourself — temporarily or permanently.
This is especially important if you’re the one others rely on.
Without an Enduring Power of Attorney and Advance Health Directive in place, no one has automatic authority to manage your finances, make medical decisions, or access accounts on your behalf — not even your family.
Your loved ones may need to apply to a tribunal or court to be appointed as your decision-maker, which can take time, cause stress, and lead to disputes if there’s disagreement about what you would have wanted.
Planning for your children
If your children are under 18, your estate plan should cover:
Guardianship – who will care for them if you can’t?
Access to funds – a Testamentary Trust can give your children financial security and protect their inheritance until they’re old enough to manage it.
Support beyond money – your estate plan can also include wishes about schooling, cultural or religious upbringing, and who you’d like involved in their lives. It’s not legally binding, but it can give your loved ones helpful guidance at a really difficult time.
Supporting your parents
Maybe you’re helping with the shopping or transport.
Maybe they live with you.
Maybe you’ve bought a home together or moved them into a granny flat.
In any case, if your parents rely on you, ask:
Would their care continue if something happened to you?
Do you want to leave a specific gift or right of occupancy for them in your Will?
Would someone else step into your caregiving role?
It’s also worth making sure your Powers of Attorney don’t accidentally give authority to someone who can’t support your parents’ needs the way you’d want.
Shared assets = shared complexity
If you’ve bought a home with your parents or live in a multi-generational household, estate planning should make ownership arrangements crystal clear.
Who owns what?
What happens if one person dies or needs to move into care?
Should someone be able to live in the home for life, or does it need to be sold?
These conversations aren’t always easy — but they’re necessary.
Your lawyer can help structure your plan around the agreed arrangements, and if needed, help facilitate the conversations so everyone’s on the same page.
Talk it out. Then plan it out.
Estate planning for a multi-gen family takes more than just filling in a form.
You need a lawyer who’ll take time to understand:
The care you give
The people who depend on you
The dynamics that shape your family
And most importantly, you need a plan that’s reality tested — not just legally sound, but practical and kind.
The takeaway?
When you’re supporting more than one generation, your estate plan does double duty.
It’s not just about passing things on — it’s about putting a structure in place that supports the people you love in the way you want to support them.