Why Not Having an Estate Plan Makes You an Irresponsible Parent (And what you can do to protect your kids)

Let’s be clear: if you’re a parent and you haven’t sorted your estate plan, you’re not a bad person. You’re not careless. You’re not lazy.

You're busy. You’ve got small people depending on you. Life is full and, at times, overwhelming. Estate planning might feel like something you can put off for future you.

But the hard truth? Not having an estate plan leaves your children unprotected, vulnerable, and exposed to uncertainty when they’d need stability the most.

That’s not just an oversight — it’s a risk. One that will have lifelong consequences for your kids.

Here we talk about what happens when you don’t make a plan, what you can do to protect your children, and why estate planning is an act of love and dedication disguised as paperwork.

What does “estate planning” mean when you’re a parent?

Most people think estate planning is just “making a Will.” That’s part of it, sure. But if you're a parent, estate planning is about setting up a legal, financial, and emotional safety net to protect your children if something happens to you — whether that’s incapacity or your death.

It’s about making sure:

• Someone you trust is legally able to care for your kids (ie. appointing guardians)

• Your assets are protected and used wisely for your children’s benefit (the right strategy in place for your assets + kids)

• There are instructions in place to guide those you leave behind

It’s about protecting you during your lifetime and, importantly, about the people who rely on you and you love the most.

What happens if you don’t have an estate plan?

These are some of the very real, very avoidable outcomes that can happen when parents don’t make a plan.

1. No legal guardian = uncertainty and potential conflict

If both parents pass away and no guardian has been legally appointed, someone will need to apply to the Court to be given parental responsibility. This can:

• Take time (which puts your kids in limbo)

• Spark family conflict (especially if there are differing opinions)

• Result in a guardian being appointed who you may never have chosen

Without a complete estate plan, the person making life-altering decisions for your children don’t have the benefit of your parenting guidance and directions. They’re making their best guess. They don’t know your kids like you do…or your plans for their future.

Imagine someone stepping in to decide where your kids live, what school they go to, what medical treatment they receive, what friends or family they're allowed to spend time with...would you want a say in who that decision-maker is? Would you want to leave them guidance for decisions they might make about your children?

Your Will is the document in your estate plan where you nominate guardians for your children. Consider having one or two backups in case your first nominated choice is unable to act for any reason.

Use your Letter of Wishes to record parenting guidance and directions for anyone stepping into the guardianship role. What goes into your Letter of Wishes depends on the needs of your child and what’s important to you – it could cover things like where you want your child to go to school, what extra-curriculars you want them to engage in, whether you want them to travel, screen time or social media use, and what family members you do (or don’t!) want your children spending time with.

2. Your kids might not be able to access what they need, when they need it

Without a Will that includes a testamentary discretionary trust or structured approach to asset distribution, children may:

• Receive a lump sum at 18 with no protections in place

• Be exposed to financial predators, family pressure, or poor decisions

• Be left waiting for Court processes or Public Trustee involvement

By putting an estate plan in place, you control what gifting strategy is used to protect and provide for your children.  There are many options we can use depending on the makeup of your assets and what you’re wanting to achieve.  Without a plan you’re opting into the default plan the government has in place for you – a strict formula for gifting your assets no matter what your child’s needs.

If you lose capacity (eg. a serious accident or illness – which can happen at any age) and haven’t made an Enduring Power of Attorney or Advance Health Directive, your partner or loved ones may be unable to access money, make medical decisions, or legally act on your behalf — even to support your children.

3. Superannuation and insurance benefits might not go where you think

These assets don’t automatically follow your Will. Without the right nominations or planning, they could end up:

• Paid to the wrong person

• Taxed unnecessarily

• Delayed in administration

All while your family is grieving and trying to keep life afloat.

A complete estate plan considers the strategy for your superannuation and life insurance to ensure it provides long-term benefit for your kids.

The responsible thing isn’t to be perfect. It’s to be prepared.

You don’t have to know everything and you definitely don’t have to do it all alone. But at some point, choosing not to make a plan becomes a choice to leave things to chance.

And when you have kids? That’s too big a risk.

Responsible parenting isn’t just about what we do now. It’s about putting structures in place for the moments we hope never come — and being honest with ourselves that one day, they might.

So where do you start?

You already know you need to do something.  Start here:

• Work with a lawyer who specialises in estate planning — not just someone who dabbles in Wills as a side offering or a DIY platform.

• Make a Will that includes guardianship appointments and considers how assets are gifted to your children.

• Use a testamentary discretionary trust to protect assets until children are mature enough to manage them wisely (*make sure you get advice from your estate planning lawyer on whether this is the right strategy for your estate plan!).

• Write your letter of wishes so that anyone caring for your kids or managing your kids’ inheritance knows your expectations and directions.

• Get an Enduring Power of Attorney and Advance Health Directive so someone you know and trust can step in as your decision-maker if you lose capacity.

• Review your superannuation and insurance to confirm what benefits would form part of your estate and put a nomination in place in line with the recommendations of your estate planning lawyer.

Final thoughts

Reading this blog and thinking about the “what ifs” of the future probably feels uncomfortable. Even as an estate planning lawyer, I’m still a mum and thinking about future unknowns gives me the yucks too!

You are the best placed person to make a plan for your child’s future.

You love your kids.
You have a deep desire to ensure they are looked after and protected.

You don’t have to be perfect.
But you do need to plan.

And when you’re ready, we’re here to help.